How Can I Talk If My Lips Don't Move?: Inside My Autistic Mind

How Can I Talk If My Lips Don't Move is a book written by an autistic young adult, who was 19 years old at the time he wrote it. He was non-verbal for much of his childhood and still continues to struggle with verbal language, and yet he is very expressive in his writing. The book is a fascinating look inside the mind of the author, Tito Rajarshi, especially as a young child. He was born and spent his early years in India, then later moved to the U.S., first to California and then to Texas. He describes with vivid detail scenes from as early as three years old and what was going through his mind and with his senses. He describes why he was obsessed with the mirror on the second floor of one of the homes he grew up in and ceiling fans and switches in the other.One theme throughout the book is the patience, perseverance and belief in her son that Tito's mother had throughout his childhood. She taught him all kinds of things that so many people would have thought were beyond his capability to learn. Sometimes it took a long time to learn a new skill, and sometimes it needed to be broken into very small steps, but she never seemed to doubt, at least in her son's eyes, his ability to learn. Even when he was very young and unable to communicate much to her, she continued to teach him, confident that he was taking it in.He first learned to communicate using words when he learned to spell and write when he was five and six. First he used a letter board and pointed to each letter, and then soon after, he learned to write on his own. Now he is an author and has given the world a very unique look at non-verbal and very limited-verbal autism. This is his description of some of the things that caused him anxiety as a very young child:"One experience diffused into the next. And every experience settled in my mind as an example of a natural phenomenon, which laid down the rules of the world. For instance, if I saw a bird on a tree, and, at that very moment, I saw someone walking across the street in front of our gate, I concluded that every time a bird sits on a tree, someone needs to walk across the street, What if they did not happen together? Well, I would panic and get so anxious I would scream.""I remember my voice screaming when I could not see my shadow anywhere around me. I wondered whether it had left me here all alone. I was afraid that I would loose my existence because my shadow had left me. I thought and believed that my shadow was an extension of my body. The feeling of loosing my shadow was like losing a part of my body."About his senses when he was very young:"My hearing would become increasingly powerful whenever that happened (hearing real sounds) and I stopped seeing anything. I could focus all my concentration on only one sense, and that is hearing. I am not sure whether or not I had to put any kind of effort toward hearing because I was too young and uninformed in science to analyze the sensory battle that was taking place within my nervous system. It just meant that my colors would disappear if there were sounds vibrating around me.""Mother knew nothing of my selective vision when I was three. I could look at certain things but not at others. Things that calmed my senses were easier to see, while things that stressed my vision were not easy to look at. So perhaps I could not see things as people expected me to see."Something Tito overheard her mother say to his father:"What is the use of going to someone's house when I cannot carry on a conversation because I am constantly trying to keep Tito from playing with the switches?"His difficulty with his senses, becoming obsessed with things and overgeneralizing situations (like the bird on the tree and the person walking by) routinely caused him crippling anxiety and would lead to screaming and tantrums frequently during the early years. To me it was fascinating to hear what caused anxiety and that most of his tantrums and screaming at a young age were a result of feeling very anxious. On a broader level, it applies to all children. Their tantrums may seem ridiculous and illogical to us, but to them there is something going on, either actual or perceived that is causing them very real distress. A lot of the extreme anxiety calmed as Tito got older and learned how the world worked a little better. He still gets stressed and anxious in certain situations, but overall, things are much better for him. As a parent of a child with autism, this book provided me with valuable insight and a renewed understanding of the anxieties that my daughter goes through each day. If you are a parent, teacher or friend of someone with autism, this book in an invaluable read.

I have worked with many children with Autism for the past three decades. This book gave me valuable insights into the unique thinking process of those individuals. This is a valuable resource for me as I can offer some references and guidance to parents and colleagues.

Yes, this is a book about one man's personal experience with autism. It is also a magical and insightful work. I found myself wanting Tito to be allowed to continue the way he experienced the world -- even though his mother (thankfully) kept moving him further into the world most of us live in.Tito's resilience was amazing. He would come to believe the outside world was one way. His mother would push him forward. He would, then, lose the ability to interact with and be comforted by his old world. And, he would move to another understanding of the world while retaining full memory of the previous world. The reader can understand Tito's sorrow at losing one supporting part of his life, the struggle to create the next one, and the enjoyment of his new world. What a facile mind he has!I don't generally care for poetry, but Tito's poems are an exception. They are included at the end of the chapters they most closely relate to. I found them fascinating given the context. The surprise to me was that the poems could be read out of context and still be incredibly powerful. They are emotionally true, and remain in my mind.This is absolutely one of the very best books I have read in quite a while. Thank you to Tito and his mother.

Answered a lot of questions, provide simple hints to address some areas . Opened my mind to see things from several points of view.

Very smart, intense child. The voice of the story seemed way beyond the ages reported. At some point I lost interest in continuing.

Having read a book about a successful person with asperger' s syndrome, I was curious to discover the workings of the mind of someone with autism. Tito' s ability to explain how his mind interacted or reacted to his environment is skillful and creatively descriptive. In fact he used several words I was not familiar with and totally lost me when he described his actions relating to his brain functioning. It made me wonder what sort of scientist, mathematician or other highly skilled professional he would be if he didn't have autism. He is indeed a very fascinating person. Aside from him, one cannot ignore the fact that his mother is truly amazing in her own right as she is patient, understanding, a perceptive and skilled teacher, and Tito' s key to living in this world. I was also surprised by his belief that autism is not a disease but rather a neurologic condition. He also says that autism has many other forms and that others with the condition may operate differently. He offers us a glimpse into a life lived in another spectrum.

An interesting voice, a compelling story of ordinary moments through a wonderful mind. Good for young adults and grownups alike. It skips around a bit and sometimes the slow pacing was frustrating, but it warrants a read to the finish.

To gain knowledge about a member of my family diagnosed with autism.VERYhelpful.

Just beautiful book by the author by own experience though he could not speak .I look forward to a book by his mother about her experiences to guide others , as she was the armour for her son , a true friend , Guide and philosopher . The ultimate epitome of motherhood 🙏🙏🙏

A very good read and eye opening. To see the world through such gifted eyes was a pleasure. Hope kindle gets his other book

This is an incredible piece of writing, explaining the complex thoughts of a child who could not talk. As he grows up you see how intelligent he is but his sensory difficulties trip him up ... and he still can’t talk.

A very interesting memoir of autism by a man who gives the reader a taste of how he experiences the world as a nonverbal person.