When I Say No, I Feel Guilty Mass Market Paperback – February 1, 1975

I think many unknowingly would benefit from this work. If you find yourself frustrated when it comes to dealing with and relating to other people, this book offers a lot of insight and tools on how to navigate the social realm in a productive and satisfactory way.

I keep giving this book away. Many people I know have a hard time asserting themselves to negotiate their way successfully in this world. The suggestions and techniques that Smith presents in "When I Say No..." are simple and effective. I have had hundreds of negotiations over my career. Before going into a meeting I will often prepare myself to use the skills suggested by Smith. Many times I find I do not have to use the exact words he has in the book... it is more of an approach to the transaction that I establish. I find that preparing my presentation in the proper form that eventually gets to the goal of a "workable compromise" is of the most value.When I lend or give a book to somebody I suggest they start reading about page 72, just before the heading "BROKEN RECORD." After reading about 10 or 12 pages from there it is a good place to stop and read the book from the beginning. That way you will have an early introduction to the "fun" skills and dialogs. Then the first 70 pages are easier to read because you will have an idea what they are leading up to.Buy it, you will like it. Buy it, you will like it. Buy it, you will like it. Buy it, you will like it. Buy it, you will like it. Buy it, you will like it. Buy it, you will like it.[Broken Record works, doesn't it?] I really mean it... Buy it, you will like it.edited on 1/21/2016 to raise rating to 5 stars. I now am looking for more paperback copies of this book to give away. If I am going to buy this many, you can bet it deserves 5.

Valuable for those who encounter the common practice of manipulation in daily life. Saying no, asserting yourself and your being… these things are not only crucial for prosperity but in rare cases our own survival. It is so important to learn things like this and Smith goes into this super well.I also appreciate how this intersects and in many way (implicitly) disagrees with the popular book “Nonviolent Communication” which covers pretty much the same topic. They compliment each other incredibly well.In terms of criticisms, I found a lot of the way Smith writes to be a tad over-philosophical and psycho-therapy babble for my taste. However, the practical action steps, techniques and examples breathe life into the read as they arise.

Older nook. Classic and one of the most helpful I have ever read.

This is THE book on how to get along with other people in individualistic cultures.There are people who will tell you that assertiveness does not work. They are wrong. It works. When it doesn't work, you either arn't doing it the right way, are asserting rights that you don't have, or are being beaten down by raw power. If you want more on why this is so, READ THE BOOK.There are people who will tell you that assertiveness is wrong.To this it must be asked "Who decides what is evil and what is not?" In an individualist society - it is up to the individual to decide for himself what is right and wrong. One is free in this society to argue about moral issues. However, the only one able to AUTHORITATIVELY say what is right and what is wrong is the individual. His judgement applies to him and him alone. The author of this book calls that "being one's own judge.". If you want to hear more about this...READ THE BOOK.As a Christian, I would not say "Be your own judge" but rather "Choose your own God" - but it AMOUNTS TO THE SAME THING. Remember, Joshua - a leader of Israel at war, said "Choose to this day who you serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." He said this as Israel was going into battle. For the moment, Israel was united in its belief in the one true God. It was under a great deal of stress. Yet even in this circumstance he gave people a choice of who to accept as an ultimate judge over their life. Even the ONE TRUE GOD will not judge you directly unless you allow him to - at least, not until judgement day. Who are we, then, to judge others or let others judge us? Want to learn more about that... READ THE BIBLE.If you don't want to judge others...READ THIS BOOK. It will tell you what judging truly is and isn't.If you don't want others to judge you....READ THIS BOOK. People who habitually judge others are surprisingly weak. Thanks to this book - my main problem in dealing with them now is not winning but in winning without hurting them unnecessarily. I still need a lot of work in that area but am getting better every day.Need I say more....READ THE BIBLE. READ "WHEN I SAY NO, I FEEL GUILTY". You won't regret it. But, as always, the choice is yours.