Deliver to Panama
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Internationally renowned model and internet sensation Valeria Lukyanova ("The Human Barbie") makes a terrifying and memorable screen debut in this impressive, suspenseful thriller. When Chris (Christopher Lenk, Keep the Lights On) and Andy (Anthony Del Negro, Anarchy Parlor) order a model from an escort service, they find that something is unnaturally wrong with Natasha -- something deadly wrong. Little do they know that while Natasha is a breathtaking beauty, she's really a possessed doll created by a mad doctor (Don Scribner, The Cooler) in an unholy laboratory, built with the urge to kill and dominate the minds of others so they will kill for her.
W**Y
This movie is a mess! (Spoilers)
This is only getting 2 stars because there were a couple moments in the movie that made me jump. So there's definitely a creepiness factor to it.But otherwise it was pretty bad.Ron Jeremy and some other guy visit the house and are stabbed to death but nobody notices.Two girls get stabbed in the attached garage and nobody notices.Another girl gets stabbed in the attic, Chris finds her body, but then her body disappears with no explanation.And this is considering Shannon was hiding under the bed right next to where the girl was stabbed. And she doesn't call for help when Chris is right next to her in the attic.Where is Natasha stashing all these bodies?Huge body count but it seems that the screenwriter couldn't be bothered with any sort of continuity. Except that every night there are thunderstorms which last the whole night. Absolutely nothing is explained to the audience.The bodies simply vanish without explanation.Almost the entire movie was shot in the dark. And nobody ever turns on a light switch.So it's just one or two brief scenes in daylight. Everything else is people creeping about in dark rooms.Natasha (The Doll) literally says 2 words in English. And then some phrase in Russian. And that's it for her lines for the whole movie.Andy and Chris get locked in a first floor bedroom but don't try escaping through the window.Then Shannon just walks right into the locked room as if it wasn't locked.Then they are all locked in again.Chris has a Shining scene where he bust through the (literally) paper thin door with an axe - The same door that nobody could kick down.Then he hacks Andy up with the axe. But then Andy reappears in the next scene with no injuries and get hacked to death again!
L**R
Terrible. Hated it. Better off watching old Vines.
Dreadful. Didn't like it at all. It's a no budget take on Weird Science with a bit of a (weak) Satanic twist. An excuse to show bikini body women in a hot tub, rear end shots, lots of cleavage as only one or two woman in the film are smaller than a DD, faux lesbianism and a lot of blood. The story made no sense, there's no explanation as to exactly who the Doll is, why she was made or why we should care. The Ron Jeremy cameo is a total "why?" moment especially considering he doesn't actually do anything except get killed. The acting is bad and the ending is so dumb it made me wish I passed on this one.
R**H
Very, Very, Very, Very Bad
This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen as it combines minimal budget, zero plot, complete lack of artistry, amateurish cinematography, and horrible acting. Some of the movie functions as a warmed over, poorly rehashed version of Hitchcock's Psycho -- albeit in reverse. Rather than mother in the fruit cellar, we get Valeria in the attic sitting emotionlessly in the rocking chair. And then, there's the shower scene in which the murder wasn't committed. Valeria's contribution consists of bland kill scenes and some occasional self-mutilation. I don't recall her having any dialogue. I was expecting much more from her. I wish I could get my money back on this one. At least the disc didn't skip and the audio quality was acceptable. All things considered, it's a movie destined to collect dust in the 99 cent bin at your favorite big box retailer.
C**S
A HORROR IN THE MOST NEGATIVE SENSE OF THE WORD
On what looks like it was made for less than a shoestring budget, this would-be aspiring "horror film" is nothing more than a disjointed splattering of gore and guts. If the bride of Frankenstein's monster and the head of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre gang had an offspring it would be the "Doll". This is NOT a PG-13 film, unless you consider nubile young ladies prowling around in thong bathing suits that leave nothing to the imagination, faux lesbian activity, human disemboweled organs being collected in a styrofoam cooler, bloody stabbing with a long metal needle, and being dispatched by multiple swings of an ax to be normal activity.Here is a concise list of just some of this film's problems: 1) inane and silly dialogue; 2) amateur acting; 3) a "script" not worthy of the name; 4) the camera acts as though it was dropped in the middle of filming during a critical scene; 5) the actors acted as though they were improvising near the end of the movie; 6) the two key male "heroes" were somehow locked in a bedroom and couldn't get out but the girlfriend of one of them is suddenly able to walk into the room from somewhere without question: 7) the "doll" inexplicably makes it from an attic down to a garage just in time to kill two ladies when she needed help to get up to the attic in the first place; 8) one of the ladies murdered in the garage can't get out but the "doll" was able to get in; 9) a cutaway view then shows the garage wide open to the outside, yet there was no escape.I realize that "horror" movies are not supposed to make sense but this composite of body parts and derivative well-worn "horror" features pushes everything way beyond the bounds of credulity. One final question: Didn't our "heroes" get a little suspicious when, in the course of an entire day, the "doll" never spoke, never ate, and never even displayed a need to visit the bathroom except to scare one of our "heroes" in the midst of a shower? Oh yea; as Yogi Berra once said: "It was like deja vu all over again."
E**T
A blemish on Ron Jeremy's career
Absolutely everything about this horror movie is amateurish and terrible. The pacing is slow. The dialog is ridiculous and completely unnatural. The characters are unlikable. The kills are bland and uninspired. The acting is flat out embarrassing. When pornstar Ron Jeremy is the best actor on set, you know the production's a total failure. Avoid!
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