Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected

This has been the answer to my prayers. Since I have been having so much frustration with my son and my husband I noticed it had turned to stress. I thought it was my job to make my kids be well mannered and awesome. This book took me out of the equation in that roll and taught me how to be the sounding board, how to "be the captain of my ship" and how to empathize (anyone can say "be empathetic"). Every chapter is amazing easy to read - outlined - elaborated on - and recapped. She spoke of the difference between an ADD-ish person - the "hunter" and the repetitive / steady-as-she-goes-person the "farmer". The model showed me the difference between my son and myself - why each of us approach life the way we do. It showed me how to separate my belief in my abilities to parent from his challenges growing up and how to not blame myself or him for any of it - to stop judging myself and him and help him learn by listening to him - to just hear his reasons for stuff. I would always use logic and think "what the heck are you thinking" and assume he is crazy and he should think my way. It's really amazing cuz I've learned a lot about him in one week just by being quiet and asking him questions and listening to his answers! I've read and listened and agree with Love and Logic - but this book takes it a step farther - it tells you how to do it and the reasoning behind it. I also am finally talking to my husband more about raising our kids. It have really taken the pressure off. Thank you!

This is the best parenting book I have ever read. I have read many many parenting books over the past 15 years and this is by a long shot the BEST book I have read on this subject. Susan Stiffelman writes a book that is easy to read and follow. Her suggestions on how to raise your children makes so much sense and her advice is so logical. Her advice on how to connect with your children has helped me look at how to relate to my teenagers in a way I never thought would be so invaluable. It's so simple at the same time too. Her advice is so logical because she is offering a way to connect and relate to your children in a way that you do with your friends and significant others. You don't just demand that your friend or significant other do something, you have a certain connection with them and a way to ask them to do something that doesn't put him/her on the defensive. Her advice just turned on the light for me and has helped me more than any other book or child specialist I have sought out advice from. I had the pleasure of hearing her speak at a school one evening and she is impressed me with how down to earth, personable and approachable she is. She is a pure delight and her advice is invaluable. Thank you Susan!!!

In the 6 years we have been parents, my husband has read 2 books, The Expectant Father and Parenting without Power Struggles. I have read more, which I'm sure is not uncommon. This book has made us better parents and has also made us better partners in parenting. Susan's methods are a mix of practical, developmentally appropriate approaches that are easy to implement in day to day situations. When one of us is struggling, we talk about the book to each other, and that helps us regain perspective. In some ways, Susan has become an absentee referee in our own parenting disagreements. He's more old-school, I'm more touchy-feely. This book met us in the middle. In some chapters she affirmed some things we were already doing and in others she gave us new perspective into what was really going on between us and the kids. I want to say that this book has some good old fashioned advice, but it's not old fashioned in it's presentation or reasoning. In our case, this book helped us as much with the power struggles between us as parents, as between us and the kids.

I liked the book because the author was clear and gave excellent case studies on how to open up dialogue with the child instead of shut it down with "old school" mentality that does not relate well with the issues kids are dealing with today. I especially liked the flow of the book and the foundation grounds that must be in tact before any change in behavior can be restructured. All theories and ideals with not work for all children, but if readers or parents are willing to try different methods in parenting, this is a very good book to have in the library. It was an easy read and I am practicing the technique that stood out most for me ... that kids can not have a power struggle if you refuse to engage ... so far I am having very good outcomes!

I'm a mom of 4 little boys, ages 3 to 9, and I read this looking for new tools and tricks in my parenting toolbag, and a new perspective. I had lost my way a little in the chaos of daily logistics. This book was difficult, in that I realized I've been doing a lot of things wrong. However, I have been poring over it like it's my daily homework, underlining and simplifying and writing out a synopsis, and it's been helping me soften a lot in my approach to my children. I love that she has the Byron Katie method in here. I didn't think of applying it to parenting, but it makes total sense. In just the couple of weeks that I've been reading this book, just implementing some of the techniques and approaches has brought me more joy with my children. I'm pretty sure that I will always let my children argue with me like a lawyer. Sorry, but that's just my personality. I have trouble feeling like my decisions are set in stone unless it is about something very serious.

I am a social worker and parent educator. I've read many parenting books, and this one is by far one of the best. It's different in a very good way. This book does not leave you trying to remember facts; rather it leaves you a changed person who has a new and real grasp of the valuable concepts she teaches, such as going "alongside" your children instead of dealing with them head on. Instead of trying to control or manage our children she teaches us to understand their side, why they do what they do, how to respond to what they do and say, how to connect with them and develop a strong attachment with them so that they naturally want to cooperate with us. It's not permissive parenting that some people associate with new age parenting. Susan wants parents to be "captain of the ship" while being a very safe adult children can depend on for understanding and guidance. The real life examples and dialogues are very helpful. I use her book in my classes and highly recommend it to all parents.

I bought this book after Glennon from Momastery.com recommended it as the ONLY parenting book she has read from cover to cover. :) I loved this book! It was easy to read and understand. The concepts are simple and I felt they were all the things I already knew but need help and reminders as to how to implement these ideas into our daily, chaotic life. As I read through the book I found myself feeling calmer and easily putting some of her tips into practice. I am about to read through it a second time. It will take more than once or twice before I am able to really remember and put into practice all her suggestions, but it's worth it. I can already see a change in our house! Aside from basic, everyday parenting practices, the book also contains several good suggestions for dealing with larger problems such as anxiety, depression, anger, etc. I found her writing style to be well organized, simple and clear to understand. This book is a must read!

I felt it was too high a price for what it was and it's lasting value. The author did their own voice work and her voice is the problem in my opinion. There's something about her monotone voice and inflections she uses to try to convey the emotion she wants her listeners to feel, that seems so contrived to be it's annoying. She sounds like she decided to read it to everyone herself as if she is a voice professional but she isn't. Unlike the professionals they use, say at Audible, the professional Fiction readers I usually listen to at that website, her stuff is hard to get through for the good content it contains within. It would be okay if I needed it for a college class, but I wanted it for myself. On the other hand, the content is very good though, I just find her tone patronizing and stilted. What she is sharing is very good for parents with difficulties with their teens. She should spring for a professional and redo the audio portion.

I found this book to be a powerful guide in how to parent children effectively in todays world with modern values regarding raising children.

Bought as a gift

Learn good tips to help with your children and teens

Such a great book. Really recommend this book for all new parents!

Dieses Buch hat wirklich hilfreiche Ratschläge und zwar zu allen Bereichen und Problemen, die mit einem Kind auftreten können und zwar im Alter von ca. drei Jahren bis ins Teenageralter. Es verbessert wirklich die Beziehung zu dem Kind, schon bevor man das Buch fertig gelesen hat. Die Strategie ist völlig gewaltfrei und echt wirkungsvoll, weil schon die kleinsten Änderungen das gegenseitige Vertrauen stärken und die Kompromissbereitschaft des Kindes erhöhen. Natürlich muss man Geduld mitbringen und die mutige Entscheidung treffen können, auch an sich selbst zu arbeiten, aber wenn man sich darauf einlässt bewirkt es wirklich Wunder