Love Me, Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships Paperback – September 1, 2014

I picked up *Love Me, Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment* on my therapist’s recommendation, and I’m so grateful I did. This book has been a game-changer for me, especially when it comes to my relationships. It helped me understand how my fear of abandonment was driving some of my behaviors and reactions, and it gave me practical tools to address those issues. The exercises and examples really resonate, making it easier to apply the advice to my everyday life. Since reading it, I’ve noticed a huge shift in how I handle emotional situations, and it's even brought a pivotal turning point in my relationship. I feel more secure and less anxious, which has made my connection with my partner so much healthier. If you’re struggling with similar fears, this book is definitely worth a read.

An amazing book. I live with insecure attachment/anxious attachment and am often seized by intrusive thoughts, fears, paranoia, and anxiety in my relationship. I am extremely lucky because my partner is the most supportive, encouraging, compassionate, generous, gentle man I have ever met and is with me every step of the way. Reading this book has been an incredible journey and I am much more mindful of my behaviors and more accepting of my thoughts. I practice mindfulness for about ten to fifteen minutes a day now, and it helps me remind myself that (and this was one of my favorite lessons from the book!) my thoughts are just that—thoughts, and only thoughts. I can observe them, accept them as just thoughts like any other thought. I can then label them as core beliefs (my core beliefs of mistrust and abandonment arising again); then I can visualize them letting go and slipping out of me and away from me, and then I can look at reminders of happiness and the present, and choose helpful behaviors that align with my values of trust and compassion and faith and respect. Haha, it sounds a bit easy and simple, but it's not—it's very difficult. I find solace in Skeen's compassionate writing, and I know that my core beliefs will never go away and that's okay because I have the power to choose helpful behaviors. In a year of dating my partner, I have already noticed so many of these fears slipping away and my unhelpful urges (to hypermonitor or hyperinspect for signs of betrayal) being minimized, and I feel so happy and encouraged!I previously read "Insecure in Love" before reading this book, so a lot of the concepts were not new to me! Because of this, the first half of Skeen's book was a bit boring haha, but I still recommend you read both. The more exposure you get, the more time you'll have to learn to be mindful and turn inwards to learn more about yourself and your behaviors. It took me a year to get through both, and that's okay—I'm a slow reader!Thank you Michelle Skeen for your compassion and wisdom. You have changed my life for the better :)

I read this book on and off throughout the period of a few months, sometimes getting distracted, sometimes sitting back to reflect on what I had read. For a long time, I thought I might have abandonment issues as a result of my upbringing and many of my early experiences, but it didn't quite hit me until I did something I regretted. I then thought to seek some help because that behavior had become a recurring pattern, and found this book.It forced me to confront some self-sabotaging, negative behaviors and thought patterns, and forced me to take a good, long hard look at myself, hard as it was to admit. This book it not for passive reading, it will ask you to keep a journal and write things down. I found that immensely helpful to come to terms with sabotaging behaviors. Remember, healing isn't an overnight process. The journey continues, but this book has inspired me to seek out professional therapy to address my abandonment issues and all that's come with it.Writing is easy to read and the chapters flowed well. The author intersperses her own personal stories that relate to the next topic she's going to talk about.Two of the biggest things I took away from this: Be like the sky, and your negative thoughts are clouds that you acknowledge and let pass you by. And do the opposite of what you're naturally inclined to do once your core beliefs are triggered.Great read and I'd recommend it for anyone who suspects they may have abandonment issues, or low self-esteem!

This book was enlightening, I never knew how deep my abandonment issues were. This book breaks it down into parts that are easy to understand. Super helpful! Great exercises. Only downside is it got a little repetitive near the end when I was wanting it to summarize and help me simplify my plan going foreword.

Helped open my eyes to my behavior and gives good advice and exercises to help cultivate new behavioral patterns