Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent Paperback – July 10, 1998

I am in the process of adopting a child and this book was required for the home study. It is well organized and has useful information. Due to the structure of the book, I can easily go back and re-read the sections that are relevant to where my family is in the adoption process. Even when I disagreed with the information, it made me think through the situation, and explore further resources. This is a great reference book for families pursuing adoption.

The book began by describing some of the fears that adoptive parents feel. It felt like Melina was in my head, expressing my own thoughts, and I felt so grateful to know that I wasn't the only one!The book continued with practical advice about some of the challenges all adoptive parents will face, as well as a definition of bonding vs. attachment. Then the book narrowed into specific circumstances based on different types of adoption. Well worth the read!

This book comes up over and over again in adoptive parenting circles, blogs, discussion groups, agency recommendations, etc. It's well known because the author at least touches on almost anything you would need to know when bringing a child into your home through adoption. The sections on bonding and attachment, grief issues in children, and talking about adoption with your children and others were especially helpful. She is also sensitive to the feelings of birth family members, something that sometimes gets overlooked in adoption literature. I like the fact that Lois Ruskai Melina covers some of the hard-to-ask questions ("Are my adopted children at greater risk for mental health issues?" is one example) with balance and a non-alarmist tone. The book doesn't discuss international adoption as much as some other titles, although there is more here than in previous editions. I would say that her information on HIV adoption may be outdated, since medical intervention has improved greatly since the writing of this book. The way to read this book is slowly and thoughtfully, realizing that your child will not have every single potential problem mentioned. Just tuck the information away in case you need it later, and focus on the positive things you can do now to help your child adjust to his or her new home.

This gave a lot of insight into the moods of Adopted children (my grandchildren). Very helpful for me to have patience during many temper tantrums. Thanks to Lois Melina for giving us help!

We are in the process of getting our home study done thru Lutheran Social Services and this is one of the "required reading" books. It is far better than any book I've purchased on adoption on my own. It takes you through every scenario. It's realistic and practical. It's also easy to read.

Wonderful book packed with lots of information. Highly recommend it

Great book.I learned about the dos and don'ts of adoption. Good book for anyone seeking to adopt. Opened my eyes to areas in the adoption process I never thought of and provided good insight on how to respond to family, friends, and strangers when they ask specific questions about the adoption process. It helped me to understand what to disclose and how much to disclose to others.

I agree with the two reviwers who said that this book assumes that all people who adopt are unable to conceive, and that the book is overly "PC". In regards to infertility, the book really does heap it on about how people who can't conceive need to grieve, and may think that they won't be able to love another's child, and so on. We're not infertile, but I would be just as offended if I were. Infertility and adoption do not always go hand in hand, and I think that Melina forgets that.I also found the writing to be hyperbolic, as in "You MUST" do this, or, my favorite "All adoptive parents" fear that their children will love their birthparents more than the adoptive parents. Use of such imperatives, "All," "must," "will," instead of more realistic words like "Many," "should/need," and "might," makes the text sound like a user's manual for computer applications.That negative said, the book itself does contain a lot of useful information, which I haven't seen in any of my previous adoption-related readings. I would absolutely recommend it to people who are going through the adoption process. I think there are better books for people who are wondering whether or not to adopt (such as "Is Adoption for You?"), but that this book directly addresses the fears and questions for people who are about to become adoptive parents.

My husband and I are preparing to adopt and this book has been excellent in every way, both emtionally - especially thinking about the relationships with our family, as well as considering the changing environment - something as simple as decorating a room. My best bed time reading for ages. I started out with trepidation but this book is helping me to ask a lot of questions.

I've enjoyed reading this book, it's very well written, not too scientific so easy for a layman to understand. Makes sense of some of the issues that may surround parenting an adopted child.

A very good book to help through adoption process

Good book lots of info would recommend to anyone especially to people wishing to adopt find it useful will keep for reference book