The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

While not new to the concept of feminism, it’s hard to truly understand it when there are so many jarring perspectives on both men and women these days. Bell Hooks really gets into the nitty gritty of why women love and hate men, and why there is much more nuance needed from our stance as women towards men. It made me feel more hopeful about the future, and I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to find out how to love men again.

I was hoping the book would give more practical solutions and insights regarding how men love, how they feel about love. It's difficult for me to overlay the perspective's given (which for obvious reasons tend toward generalisations about men) onto the men I know and have known in my life. Nothing of what the book tackles is inherently incorrect; generally speaking boys are encouraged to compartmentalise their emotions in a way that girls are not and the author paints a good picture of how this hurts boys and therefore the men they grow up to be, and therefore society. But I would have liked the author to make her case for the demise of macho-patriarchy vs the rise of soulful-paternalism (my phrases and interpretation of what the author was aiming at) much clearer and therefore compelling. I've read some negative reviews for this book and their points seem to focus upon the author using blunt examples of what a 'compartmentalised patriarchal male' is. Whilst I see their point, I also see that with the complexities of the subject the author had to start somewhere. Ultimately I was hoping for a book which inspired an ability in myself to honour and respect the men in my life for the struggles that they face in companionship with the struggles that women face. This book will definitely begin that thought process for you. Lastly; ultimately we're all just human and all humans want to be loved and to love.

I wasn't familiar with Bell Hook's work before reading this book.The book is inspiring. It provides a vocabulary for many of those things we experience but can't quite define on our own. Bell Hook's writing soothes the soul, she is truly compassionate. She contextualizes personal experience providing a clear and coherent picture of her broader, radical vision.Following this reading, I was ready to explore more of her work.

Bell Hooks is one of my favourite authors, and this book did not dissapoint!Sometimes as women, we are so quick to demonise men and forget that we often perpetuate the same patriarchy that we are fighting to abolished. Hooks talks about men, emotions and how women are not always able to handle a man who is emotive and likes to talk about he feels. We have been conditioned to believing that masculinity equates to being hard and showing no emotion, so when a man finally does show/ discuss his emotions.. we have no idea how to handle it.Hooks is a great author when it comes to intersectionality of different factors that affect one's behaviour etc. Great read!

This book not only arrived in time, in great condition, but its contents quite literally changed the directory of my life. I recommend both the book and the seller!

bell hooks manages a tour de force by bringing an empathetic perspective to the feminist struggle. She calls men 'Comrades in Struggle' and analyses how patriarchy affects all genders. Beyond her analysis of the current challenges, she offers ideas and suggestions for moving forward towards healing and flourishing for both men and women.

A good overview from a different angle.There is a good explanation of how young men are ill-treated in emotional ways by the patriarchy.I read about half the book and then struggled to keep going.

I found the book vague and lacking clear intent.

Em 2004, bell hooks publicou o livro "The will to change: men, masculinity and love". como uma espécie de resposta à sua decepção ao ler o livro "About men", de Phyllis Chesler. Segundo hooks, o livro de Chesler é decepcionante, "(...)cheio de citações de numerosas fontes, artigos de jornais sobre violência masculina (...)". (p.xi)A autora aponta que tinha a expectativa que o livro de Chesler pudesse ajudá-la a compreender os homens para que assim pudesse não temê-los. Como a expectativa não foi atendida, decidiu escrever esta obra, em que admite que tudo o que o feminismo sabe sobre os homens está relacionado apenas à violência masculina imposta às mulheres e crianças. E, por sua vez, é comumente vociferado através de raiva e ódio aos homens: "(...)O feminismo militante deu às mulheres permissão para liberarem sua raiva e seu ódio pelos homens, mas não nos permitiu falar sobre o que significa amar um homem numa cultura patriarcal".(p.xii)Para hooks, as feministas manifestam ódio e raiva pois entendem que os homens dominadores ou violentos não são capazes de mudar: "(...) o feminismo me ensinou que eu poderia esquecê-lo [o pai] , dar às costas para ele. Dar às costas para o meu pai é dar às costas para parte de mim. É uma ficção do falso feminismo que nós, mulheres, podemos encontrar nosso poder num mundo sem homens, num mundo onde negamos nossa conexão com os homens"(xvi)bell hooks reconciliou-se com a masculinidade através, justamente, da reflexão sobre sua relação com seu pai:"(...) minha reconciliação com meu pai começou com meu reconhecimento que eu queria e precisava de seu amor(...)" (p.xvi)A autora entende que é necessário falar de homens e masculinidade. É necessário, também, reconhecer que as mulheres precisam do amor masculino:"(...)nós precisamos dos homens em nossas vidas(...)" (p.xvi)"Toda mulher quer ser amada por um homem. Toda mulher quer amar e ser amada pelos homens em sua vida. Seja lésbica ou heterossexual, bissexual ou celibatária, ela quer sentir o amor do pai, do avô, do tio, do irmão ou de um amigo homem. Se ela for heterossexual, ela quer o amor de um companheiro." (p.1)Recomendadíssimo!💜

The literary content I have no issue with but the version I recieved was of a very poor quality, it almost looked counterfeit. Blurry text, the cover seemed to have strange smudges on, the cover font seemed like a low resolution, paper felt cheap, everything about it felt cheap. And not cheap either for a relatively short book.

Herzlich, klar, intelligent, fundiert.Alle Mutter von Jungs sollten diesem Buch lesen. Alle Männer sind mit dem Buch sicher getröstet in deren Schmerz und ermutigt was dagegen zu tun - mit klare Anleitung.Geniales Werk.

Learning loads about male training and ways to grow vulnerability and tenderness

I found this book to be highly read-able, insightful, and necessary.