Fair Play: Reese's Book Club: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)

Not finished with the book but —-fascinating material. Every single man on the planet should read this book at least once. It is an eye opener for them as to what women are doing, and how they can actually be involved.

I was so excited to read this book, and it turned out be much more than I expected. Eve Rodsky has created a well researched and ingenious, yet practical system to help resolve resentment and frustration in the household. But what really elevated this book for me was Eve’s personal stories that add humor and heart to this book. As a stay at home mom, I especially appreciated her thoughts on creating what she terms “Unicorn Space.” While reading this book, I kept thinking, “Eve Rodsky definitely knows how I am feeling!” Busy, overworked and stressed out moms don’t worry, you will be able to read this book quickly- I couldn’t put it down and have been thinking about it for days. I already downloaded it on audible for my husband and can’t wait until he gets home from a business trip to take the next step and play the game.

We didn’t read the book yet. We tried to play the game. It backlashed :( My husband says he has a better idea: doing everything together. Yes it is impossible to do everything together. But cooking and cleaning together is more fun than one person cooking all the time. I still face the problem of ownership though. But honestly he has been progressing lot with “Let’s do it together” approach, from laundry to dishes, that I have stopped pushing the game on him. While we play the game, he goes into defensive mode thinking I am trying to negotiate in a way that I will transfer everything to him. As long as it works, whatever method works is okay imo.

I'm not a Reese Witherspoon book club member. I'm a working mother and wife (I found Fair Play through a recent finance podcast). Two years ago I hit a similar breaking point to the author's "blueberry meltdown." After 13.5 years of marriage, to a man willing to share the work, I woke up and realized he was treating me like a doormat - I'll spare you the details. I tried and tried strategies to improve my situation. After a few failed mini-efforts (including trading lives for a week to promote empathy), we finally landed on a system that is extremely similar to the cards recommended in Fair Play (we use assignable to-do lists in the Wunderlist App). Every strategy in the Fair Play system is part of our own. We’ve needed it all — the dredging of work from the shadows to the light, the value setting, the ownership from conception to execution, the avoiding using your spouse as back-up for everything, and even the built-in time-off for self-development. We hit bumps. I worried what my in-laws thought — but we stayed the course. It worked, and we are better than ever (and, yes, that means more and better sex, too). The system freed us not only from the nit-picky day-to-day misery but also from the feeling we could never leave the house. We found free-time. My husband revels in the friendships and activities he can leave his family for, guilt-free. I traveled for 10 days of business last March (with manageable preparations for my “cards”), and all they missed were hugs. The first 100 or so pages of this book set the context for the issues women (largely) are facing. This is the context I lived. It's definitely a downer. I say this to say, that if you need a ‘why' to get yourself moving on this Fair Play plan, then read it. But if you can buy into the plan without it — SKIP it (for now). For husbands/back-up partners: It's hard to stare a problem like this in its face, and still have the energy to do the work. Do the work for your family. Do the work for your daughters (and sons). Do the work for yourself. There are so many issues in life that we can not control: This is one we can. Fair Play will lift women's spirits. Fair Play will make them feel loved. Fair Play will give them back their energy and joy — and they, in turn, will bring their true gifts to you and the world. It is truly one area where you can take a small step for a woman, and a giant leap for MAN- and WOMAN-KIND. (I’m only sorry I can not go back in time and take some cards for my mother.) For what it's worth, it's not men's fault. We are all working hard. Through discussion, we raise our shared-expectations. For some partners in a family it will feel like more work in total. Early in the process, old resentments can sometimes target the system, making things worse. But, if you can get to a place where both partners sincerely try, you will be busier AND happier. TODAY. If you choose to play, the time you spend on Fair Play tasks (the grind; emotional labor, etc.) will be what allows you, on your death bed, to look back and say, "I’m glad I was there for my family."

We recently had our second baby and while she has brought us immense joy, her arrival sucked the life out of our 13-year relationship. I found myself on the verge of a nervous breakdown trying to manage our entire household—a special needs 10 year old, a newborn, and two cats, plus all the other work that goes into maintaining a safe and tidy home—all on my own. During my sleep-deprived research, I saw a recommendation for this book and decided to check it out. I was not disappointed! The first thing I noticed when I began reading was the validation. All the invisible work and the mental load I was carrying (things my husband still can’t quite comprehend) was perfectly laid out in this book. The exhaustion, the burnout, the resentment, the unfairness of it all…clearly outlined in a way that showed us both just how much I’m doing and why I feel so overwhelmed all the time. The second thing I noticed was how balanced and reasonable the solution could be. My husband and I were both impressed by the idea that the workload can be fair without being evenly divided. As a stay at home mom, I expect to carry more of the household responsibilities. That’s what I signed up for and it’s what I want to do. But I no longer have to carry ALL of the responsibility. My husband has taken a few things off my plate. And while we’re still not quite where I want to be, we’re moving in the right direction.

It's a good book with fair core takes, but it takes too much time to explain simplest thing over and over, would be a little thinner, but do not misunderstand, it was worth reading.

Absolutely loved this book although I felt a bit cheated but all the you tube adds with cards that were big and made of card stock. When I got the book there were no cards, I had to go online and print them ( for free) but they are 2x2 inches big. I’m going to laminate them and put the on a key ring but I wish they came with the book. Don’t skim then book and don’t start to practice any of this until you’ve read the whole book .

My wife shared with me a podcast where Eve Rodsky was a guest. We both got hooked into that episode, we looked into the cards game, I bought the book so we could have it at home and rebalance our relationship specially when big changes happen (marriage, kids, pets, renovations, new jobs, etc). Reading the book was such as disappointment in comparison. The podcast was all hype, the cards game is awesome to have conversations, the book was written for people that need a smack on the back of the head with the book itself to wake up from a fever dream in barbieland. I don't know who needs this book, I'm sure there will be people that haven't evolved all the way to adulthood and will need everything spelled out for them about how an adult relationship is supposed to work. Unless you feel like you are partnering a child, skip the book. Listen to the podcast maybe even buy the card game. Skip the torture of the reading.

Making the invisible visible is a great gift of this book. Not just the hidden work of a household but the assumptions and patterns in a relationship nobody explicitly agreed to. I’m looking forward to exploring, identifying and changing what’s been assumed and unsaid. Might update this review as a result.

Eve takes the edge off sensitive topics and family chores and emotional struggles as you are both building your family life. This fair play game teaches you to correctly evaluate each ones involvement in the household and family management. Very often women underestimate the amount of time they sacrifice for the family and how detrimental that is actually on the pong term. Thank you for coining the term Unicorn Time … i take it! 💓